Bastion Review

Now here’s a kid whose world got all twisted, leaving him stranded on a rock in the sky


            Now admittedly, when I first looked at this game, and this game looked at me, we both said to each other, in our heads, “Yea, pass, doesn’t look so special. Doesn’t even really look like my taste anyway.” But then all our friends told us we’d be great for each other. So we took a second look- tentative at first, of course. Now I personally didn’t have the kind of money in hand to be throwing fifteen Amurrican dollars around willy-nilly, I had to be sure that this game would treat me right. So I waited. I bided my time. And I almost lost her- until I got bored one night and couldn’t find any other games I owned that interested me. So, cash in hand (by which I mean my credit card), I quickly purchased the necessary Microsoft points, and downloaded that shit. So I pressed start, clicked Story, New Game- and fell in love.
Don't worry ladies, we have an open relationship.
Bastion is incredible. Created by WB Interactive Studios and Supergiants Games, it is such a fun game, with a very neat and cool design to it. You play as ‘The Kid,’ a white haired young man who wakes up surrounded by the ruins of his dead home city, which was apparently destroyed by a thing called, ‘The Calamity.’ What makes the game even more interesting is the fact that your entire story, every little action you take, is narrated by a voice, who you meet later in the game, when you arrive at ‘The Bastion.’ The Bastion is the last refuge of peace in the torn and destroyed world, and the purpose of the game is to collect enough crystals and shards to make it operational. Collecting these crystals also adds a thick RPG element to the game, as the crystals allow you to build things on the Bastion, things like an armory, a distillery, a memorial, and more, all things that have the expressed purpose of helping you level up in the game. Along your journey you will of course run into enemies, who you defeat with weapons like your hammer, or repeater gun, or other weapons you find in the game. I found the weapons to be one of my favorite parts overall, as they fit so well in with the game’s Fantasy-Western vibe, and I thought the fact that you could level them up was veeerry cool, giving them special effects, that would later come into play when you had to decide which weapon combination you were going to use for each mission (my favorite combination was the War Machete and the Scrap Musket).
That fat blue thing in front of me? I RAPED IT with my hammer.
I also thought the voice-acting by Logan Cunningham was absolutely phenomenal, grade-A if I do say so myself. I can’t say I believe the game would have been HALF as good if he hadn’t been narrating you every step of the way (something I wish he would do for me in real life, though of course, I’m not half as bad-ass as The Kid, so it probs wouldn’t sound as cool) The music was also top-notch, especially the eerie yet soothing melody of Zia’s Theme, otherwise known as Build That Wall. Literally the first thing I did after finishing Bastion that night was go on iTunes and buy the shit out of that song, which I’m pretty sure I now want played at my funeral (sorry Take on Me, you can be played at my 70th birthday if I live that long). The song was also perfect for the story, which outlines heavy elements of the dangers of war, of striking out of fear, and retaliating out of anger, even when you may not understand the situation at hand. It did it in a way I hadn’t seen a good story do before, and in a way that I felt was truly fitting considering I played it the night before Septemeber 11th (I’m not sure if that was the story was truly trying to get across, but whether it was or wasn’t, absolutely brilliant). The game’s design was also very memorable, and I enjoyed it a lot, the game’s mechanic where the path in front of you appears as you progress forward making me feel a little dizzy at first, though I grew accustomed to it quickly, barely even noticing it by the end. This game, even though it’s only an Xbox arcade game, has so much to offer, with so many side-challenges and quests, that if you loved just playing the game as much as I did, you’ll have a hard time putting it down, even after the credits roll. I give this game a high Classy, recommending it to anybody who wants to get an exceptionally thought provoking, fun, and interesting game, that is well worth their fifteen dollars.

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